Batman was a 1960’s American live action television series.

It was roughly based on the DC comic book character of the same name.

It starred two crime-fighting heroes (Batman and his sidekick, Robin) who defended an unruly place… Gotham City. The program first aired on the American ABC network for three seasons from January 12, 1966 to March 14, 1968.

The show was broadcast twice weekly for its first two seasons and weekly for the third. With a total of 120 episodes being produced during its lengthy run. The program was best known for its upbeat theme music and the delivering of camp moral lessons. Which included among other things… The championing of the importance of using seat belts. Doing your homework. Eating vegetables and drinking milk regularly being preached to the children of the day.

I must say, as a child, it was one of my favourite TV shows.

And it starred Adam West as Batman. Burt Ward as Robin. Cesar Romero as the Joker. And Frank Gorshin as the Riddler among many other guest stars from time to time. And during my obviously somewhat miss-spent youth. I had somehow amassed for myself, the Bat-cape, the Bat-car, the Bat-copter. And just about every other Bat-thing available from the series as part of my toy collection. I was Bat-shit crazy you could say… It’s sad I know and to be honest it bears no real relevance to my story here. But nonetheless, it was true.

Later on in the mid seventies. Thanks largely to the day’s thriving porn industry. We next witnessed the birth of the trusty old VHS recorder/player. And that meant we were now able to record this gem of historical television for our own personal playback later. I (well my dad really) also had a VHS copy of the 1966 film ‘Batman’ that spun off from the TV series. And at the time, it was great entertainment for us kids, to say the least.

Holy Shark-bait!!

One of the funniest scenes I can remember from that movie. Involved our hero Batman getting lowered into the sea on a rope ladder attached to the Bat-copter. Presumably being piloted by Robin. I honestly don’t remember why now. He was probably just trying to save the world from total destruction as usual I guess.

But to cut a long story short (and without giving away the plot (which I can’t fully remember now anyway)). When the Bat-copter later ascends pulling our hero Batman back out of the water. Our boy had, what was quite a large rubber shark hanging from his right leg.

And yet, undeterred by this seemingly minor inconvenience. He calmly reached down into his utility belt and pulled out a clearly labelled canister of ‘Shark Repellent Spray’. Which miraculously, just happened to be there waiting for him.

Anyway, a couple of quick squirts from this can into his aquatic assailant’s face. And the fearsome fish quickly releases its grip of our hero’s leg. And dutifully falls back into harmlessness as it re-enters the ocean.

Presumably going about its daily life like nothing had ever happened. While leaving our hero free once again to continue saving the ever so needy world around us.

Now this to me if nobody else.

Bids a simple but at the same time, a rather disturbing question…

When Batman set off that morning for another day of ‘Super-heroism’,

How the hell did he know to pack that shit?

You see, unlike other handyman service providers. That think nothing of rocking up to work totally unprepared. And are happy to charge for regular trips to the suppliers and the occasional stop off for a coffee.  I prefer to do the right thing. I want to get on with the job I was entrusted to do. With everything I need, readily by my side to keep me going.

To put it another way. Whenever I leave for my day’s (insignificant by comparison to our Bat-hero’s) toils. I generally know what I’ll be doing that day. I also know what I’ll need to help me DO my doing.

But even with a huge back-up van full of tools and materials. I still from time to time, manage to bloody forget stuff. And you can bet your bottom dollar, it’s always when I’m farthest away from home!!

At the same time, there are also occasions where a trip to the local supplier will be unavoidable. And while it’s my job to keep these times to the minimum. Working with the customer’s best interests in mind. Despite all efforts. There are times when things don’t go according to plan and a time out becomes essential.

I guess that’s why Batman is a Super-Hero.

And I’m just a striving to be, ‘Super Handyman’.

Maybe I need to refer to his manual one more time.